Daily Prayer of Repentance to God for a Person Beginning the Path of Salvation

DAILY PRAYER OF REPENTANCE TO GOD FOR A PERSON BEGINNING THE PATH OF SALVATION

(by Saint Demetrius (Tuptalo), Metropolitan of Rostov)

Being alone, find a secluded place, sit down, and reflecting on your life, recall in your mind all the sins you have committed since your youth, both those you have confessed and those you have not. When you have recalled them all, sigh from the depth of your heart, beat your breast, and if you can, weep; then, rising, fall to your knees and lift your mind from the earth up to the throne of God, before which the Cherubim and Seraphim stand. Seeing with the eyes of your mind the Lord sitting on a high and exalted throne, anticipating your coming and foreseeing all your ways, and listening to what you wish to say, prostrate yourself before His most merciful feet and with fear begin to say to Him the following:

Most good God, Source of goodness, Abyss of mercy! My Creator, Redeemer, and Savior! To You, who know hidden secrets and test hearts and minds, I confess my sins and bring them before Your all-seeing eye, so that all Your angels and archangels may hear my iniquities. I have sinned, my Lord and Creator… (here, list in detail all your sins, whispering quietly as if into the ear of the Lord, feeling shame, with trembling of heart and tears in your eyes, saying:) Behold my sores, my scabs, and my wounds, O most merciful Physician! Behold my heavy burden, O good Lord! Behold my shame and my nakedness, O long-suffering Judge! By these deeds of mine, I have saddened, angered, and provoked Your goodness; I have defiled Your image, insulted Your Holy Spirit, and driven away my guardian angel; I have trampled upon Your most precious Blood shed for me, despising it; I have destroyed the beauty of my soul, stripped myself of Your grace, and become a den of robbers, a dwelling place for demons and passions; I have ruined the Church which You redeemed with Your Blood, defiling my whole body, making my members the members of a harlot, and polluting my soul with worthless, blasphemous, proud, abominable, and lustful thoughts. By consenting to them and taking pleasure in them, I have brought joy to the demons and weeping to the angels. Thus my soul has died and lies as if in a grave, in destructive habits, covered with the dust of insensitivity and weighed down by the stone of hardness. Behold, O Lord, my iniquities have gone over my head; they have multiplied more than the hairs of my head and more than the sand of the sea. Confessing them, I expose, condemn, and accuse myself; and not only those that have come to my memory, but also those that it has swallowed up, those that through my ignorance I do not consider sins, and those that I cannot express—all these I surrender to Your great mercy, O all-merciful and gentle God. Having committed a multitude of shameful deeds, having so darkened my mind and become maddened after so many fierce falls and insensitivity, having barely come to my senses and looking from the depth of my despair at Your great mercy, which not even all human sins could overcome, I saw that You do not desire the death of a sinner, but mercifully await his conversion, and for the sake of sinners alone You shed Your Blood, not sparing it, only to call them to repentance. Understanding this, I, the wretched one, I the sinner, who have surpassed the sins of the whole world, have made myself by my evil deeds a second devil, a follower of Judas, a partner of the executioners who crucified You—I, the wretched and lawless one, an impassable sea of all kinds of abominations, a bottomless abyss of all impurities, a foul, shameless perpetrator of all evil, flee and fall before You, the all-merciful and all-generous, in the sorrow of my heart, and in repentance I cry out: "I have sinned, Father, against heaven and before You; I have sinned and lived lawlessly, I have transgressed Your commandments; I have sinned as no one ever has, and I am unworthy to be called Your son, unworthy to look upon and see the height of heaven, unworthy to open my mouth before You, for I have been Your enemy." But I implore Your goodness and pray to Your gentleness: have mercy on me, O God, according to Your great mercy, and according to the multitude of Your mercies, blot out my iniquity. Have mercy, forgive, and cleanse, for with You is cleansing. O Lord! If You will, You can cleanse me. I know that You desire the salvation of everyone, so save me also, for You can if You will. Show Your mercy, O Lord; remember Your ancient mercies and loving-kindnesses and forgive my transgressions; do not remember my many evil deeds, do not enter into judgment with Your servant, do not repay me according to my deeds, nor rebuke me in Your indignation, nor punish me in Your wrath. Open to me the doors of Your goodness, the doors of repentance; receive me in repentance, call me to understanding, raise up the fallen, find the lost, return the perished, heal the sick, resurrect the dead. O Lord, God of hosts! Seek me out, show Your face, and I shall be saved; make Your face shine upon Your servant. How long, O Lord, will You forget me to the end? How long will You turn Your face from me?! Turn Your face from my sins, but do not turn away from me, for I am in sorrow; hear me speedily. I know that I am not worthy of Your love for mankind and Your mercy, but am worthy of all the torments that exist in hell, worthy of the undying worm, the gnashing of teeth, the outer darkness, the unquenchable fire which is prepared for the devil and his angels. I am worthy of the abyss of hell, before which even Satan himself trembles. Yet, as great as Your majesty is, so is Your mercy, and there are no sins that could overcome Your love for mankind. Therefore, I do not despair, but hope in Your inexhaustible goodness, which streams upon all unceasingly, and I rely on Your ineffable mercy: I hope in You, O Lord, and I trust; let me not be put to shame forever. You are my hope, O God, and hope does not put to shame. Do not put me to shame, O Lord, at Your Dread Judgment before thousands of thousands of heavenly powers and all Your saints. I heartily regret that I have angered You, my Creator, the eternal and inexhaustible goodness, with my evil deeds; and Him whom I should have loved unceasingly and whose commandments I should have kept, Him, as if hating, I have given myself over to countless sins; Him whom I should have fervently desired, of Him I only occasionally remembered and Him I neglected; Him with whom I should have been satisfied with delight, I have offended and rejected; from Him to whom I should have clung, I have turned away; for Him for whose sake alone I should have lived, I have died, and I live for sin, pleasures, and passions; Him whom I should have feared and honored, Him I have insulted and dishonored in my lesser brothers, in myself, defiling my whole self with deeds, words, and thoughts; from Him whom I should have thanked and glorified unceasingly, while dwelling in His presence, from Him I have turned away and departed onto dissolute paths, and I was too lazy to open my mouth to glorify His most holy name. O my desire! O my merciful God! Do not be angry with me to the end, for now, being punished for all this, I regret and will not cease to regret. O, may I never anger You, my Lord! O, may I rather die than offend You, my Lord! Why was I born, for what was I raised, why do I live until now and heavily sadden You, O Master?! Therefore, let my heart be saddened now, beating itself; let my hardness be broken and crushed by contrition; let me melt away entirely, like wax, from internal burning, for I have lost my God, I have fallen from His grace, I have offended His mercy, I have become alienated from His love, I have turned away from His glory, I have avoided His merciful care. Let my eyes shed streams of tears over this day and night, for I have not kept Your law, for I have transgressed much, I have sinned much before You. Because of this, my heart is troubled, not trembling so much before torment, nor languishing because of separation from heavenly blessings, but melting because I have offended You, the all-good, all-sweet, all-lovely, all-desirable, and for this alone I shall beat my breast from now and forever. Let my life wither in sorrow and my years in sighing; let my soul grow weak in grief and my bones be troubled over this, that I have heavily saddened my God, my Creator, my Master, my Redeemer. And how shall I make amends?! I know that You are good, my God; You are merciful, my Creator; You are kind and generous, my Redeemer; You are so good that You did not even spare Your own soul, but gave it for us sinners, and You do not deal with us according to our iniquities, nor do You repay us according to our sins.

This I will do: at Your pure feet I will fall, I will bow down, I will prostrate myself, and I will weep before You, the Lord who created me. I am an abyss of sins; I cast myself into the abyss of Your mercy, my God, and I pray to You: direct me to true repentance and bring to his senses the unconscious and hardened one. You have received many sinners who repented: David, Manasseh, Josiah, the publican, the harlot, the prodigal son, the thief, Peter, Saul, Photini, Thais, Pelagia, Mary of Egypt. Do not reject me, who have surpassed them all in sins, for You did not come to call the righteous to repentance, but sinners. Therefore, call also me, who am the greatest sinner of all; even if I have done nothing good before You, still grant me by Your grace to make a good beginning. And count me worthy, O Lord, to love You as I once loved sin itself, and to serve You without laziness as I once served the deceitful Satan. Above all, I will serve You, my Lord God, Jesus Christ, all the days of my life, if You grant me Your grace for help. I marvel at Your truly immeasurable long-suffering, O all-merciful One, that during the time of my iniquities, You did not bring upon me Your righteous judgment, nor did You even expose me with Your indignation, nor punish me with Your wrath, nor cast me down from on high with lightning, nor did You command the earth to swallow me alive into hell, nor did You allow any sudden death to reap me. Therefore, greatly marveling at this, I have known that Your unfathomable mercy has long-sufferingly and mercifully awaited my repentance and the correction of my vicious life, and You did not punish me so that I might come to my senses and understand my iniquities and turn away from my evil life. This I have known and have turned with repentance to You, not of myself, but You have instructed me and brought me to Yourself. And for what reason did You do this, what prompted You to such great mercy, do You have any benefit from this when You call me? It is not known to me. But only this is known: that I, a sinner and lawless one, was until now Your enemy, and even until now have not corrected myself. And since You Yourself have called and brought me to Yourself, enlighten my mind, open my mouth, teach me what I must say before You, and cleanse my numerous iniquities and abominations; wash them, sprinkle me with the hyssop of Your mercy, make me whiter than snow, so that I may not stand before You loathsome and defiled. For it is better for me to hide in the dark depths of the earth than to be so shamed before the majesty of Your unapproachable glory, and to stand so ingloriously naked and all covered with sinful filth, wretched and loathsome, when all the Cherubim and Seraphim standing before You look upon me. Yet there is no place that could hide me from Your eyes, which are brighter than the sun. Behold, I look and do not understand how You do not loathe so many of my foul defilements and allow me to stand before You and speak boldly, without fear?! How do You not loathe looking upon the impurity of my heart and the abomination of my soul? How do Your servants, not immediately forbidding me with fiery weapons, not reject and drive me away from Your face? How, having opposed me, do they not cast me into the outer darkness? Yet Your gentleness and Your immeasurable mercy do not desire this: for great, truly great is Your mercy, greater than heaven, deeper than the abyss of hell, wider than all seas and lands; Your goodness does not desire my destruction, but awaits conversion and rejoices in the repentance of sinners. Great is Your mercy, O Lord, for You are long-suffering toward me, who often promised You to repent, yet fell even more often and even lower; for not once or twice did I promise to repent, and even confirmed my promise with oaths, yet I lied, being passionate. I repent, trembling, O Lord; will You cause me pain? And soon I do the same thing again, yet You still have mercy on me, not destroying me with my iniquities. Glory to Your long-suffering, glory to Your mercy, glory to Your kindness, glory to the multitude of Your bounties, glory to Your unfathomable goodness, glory to Your merciful face, before which standing now, my Lord, I bring to You my will and my decision, using the hope of Your help, from now, from this day, from this hour, from this minute—as much as there is strength in me to correct my bad and wretched life, and to be crushed and regret my former sins until death, and to vigilantly guard against those that will trouble me with Your help. You know, my Lord, that I hate my loathsome deeds, and through them myself, and I hate my whole defiled life and do not want to anger You, my good God, with them anymore; only You, O Lord, grant me help, for without it, the all-powerful, and without grace, I have no strength to rid myself of my evil deeds and sinful habits, and it is impossible to complete any good deed: for without You I can do nothing. I will to repent, if You, O God, help me; You can cleanse me. O God, help me, and I shall be saved. I believe, O Lord, in Your mercy; help my unbelief; I believe that You are near to those who call upon You in truth. Truly, truly, truly I desire with all my heart to turn to You, my God, in repentance. O God, be attentive to my help; O Lord, make haste to help me!

Then, rising, be strengthened in hope in the Lord, and reflecting on His great goodness and mercy, recite Psalm 102, that your soul may be comforted: "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name..."

If it is impossible for you to keep all this in your memory, place what has been said in your mind in short points as follows: 1) I confess to God all my sins; 2) I consider myself unworthy of His mercy, but worthy of eternal torments; 3) yet I do not despair; 4) I humbly ask for forgiveness; 5) I make a resolution to correct my life; 6) without doubting, I believe in the forgiveness of my sins.

Source: kyrios.org.ua